Aaaug!

Another classic song - Paradise by the Dashboard Light - butchered by a lame commercial for ATT’s Go Phone.

[youtube Wbr34hZNxro]

Whoa, as I was researching this video to see how Meatloaf would sell out this classic song, I learn that that actually is Meatloaf playing the part of the father in the commercial? And the mother is played by Tiffany - a has been pop singer. The overweight son is Adam Cagley - whoever that is.

At least here in Hawaii, only the shorter version of the commercial is shown.

But why?!? A classic - butchered for a pay-as-you-go phone!

I say he (Meatloaf) sold out. What do you think?

For old times sake - if you want to watch the classic Paradise by the Dashboard Light video, here you go:

[youtube j0ns8t9iQck]

I love The Honolulu Advertiser Sunday edition. Besides the feature articles and news stories, I look forward to the ads - especially the supplements.

But what really gets my goat (haven’t heard that one in a while, eh) is the big box stores that advertise an item on sale, but have only a handful in stock. And of course, by the time I get there, the stock is gone. I’m not talking about days to get there, I’m talking about hours.

Now, either the employees are buying them before the store opens or the store is playing the ol’ Bait & Switch game. If the ploy is to lure the customer into the store, then might I suggest that the store have a good inventory available once in awhile? Otherwise, the customer will wise up to the store and not even bother going there, knowing the store’s M.O.

So in yesterday’s ad, I see a memory card on sale for a good price. I stop by the store around 3:00 and guess what - they’re all sold out. Aauuuggg! I get desperate and ask the clerk if they have any more, hoping he’ll say yes and go in the back, but he says “Sorry, all sold out”.

So does that make me want to hang around the store and buy something else? No. It pisses me off and makes me storm out of the store, kicking myself for wasting my time thinking they’re going to have it in stock. When will I learn?

I’m creating a new category: Rants

This one has to do with a certain TV commercial using toads. Yes, the HEMIC commercial. They say that the gecko and the duck are taken so they’ve adopted the frog. It’s a toad for god sake! A HEMIC toad.

So what’s the big deal with toads you ask?

I grew up in Kailua, a couple of houses away from the Kawainui swamp. And because of the close proximity to the swamp, our area had toads. A lot of toads. To keep us from playing with them when we were small, my mom would tell us that if we played with a toad, and it pee’d on us, we’d get warts. And on top of that, we were told that they were poisonous. So we stayed away from toads. But toads didn’t stay away from us.

I used to leave my work shoes on the front steps of our house. These were more like hiking shoes. Then one morning as I stepped into my left shoe, my toes go in alright, but something is preventing my heel from going down. Even as I press harder. I slip out my foot and look into my shoe, and there it was. A toad. A HEMIC toad. First, I swore at it (like that’s really going to help), then I flicked it out of my shoe onto the road, sprayed my shoe with Lysol, and went to work in slippers. Great, now I might get warts on my heel. I hate toads. HEMIC people play with them.

When I’d be driving around my neighborhood and it was one of those hot summer nights when all the termites would come out, so would the toads. Tons of them. And as much as I’d try to swerve and avoid them, it was impossible. I’d hear that “thump” sound like I was going over one of those reflectors that are pasted in the middle the road, but I knew it wasn’t a reflector. It was a HEMIC toad.

And the next day as I would drive down the same road, I’d see the carnage left from the night before. Flattened like pancakes, ala the game: Frogger. And after a day or two in the hot sun, they’d bake and turn black, and end up looking like beef jerky. But it wasn’t beef jerky, it was HEMIC toad jerky!
And the smell. Ewwww! It had that roadkill smell. Funny how roadkill all smells alike, whether it’s a cat or mongoose or a HEMIC toad.

So you can see my disdain for toads. They’re ugly. They’re poisonous. They’ll give you warts if they pee on you. They hide inside of shoes. They leave little doo-doos in the yard. They smash flat when you run them over and their guts come out of their mouths. They stink as the hot sun bakes them on the asphalt.

So HEMIC, please pick a different mascot. Anything but a toad (or spider). How about a mongoose? They’re kinda cute. Or a Kolea? That has a local touch to it. Even a poi dog!

But dump the toad!